This article is the first part of a narrative hobby series organized by Giga-Bites Cafe. Click here to join in! MUMP GLOPSPLEEN Mump Glopspleen, Scriviner of the Festerscab Legion, gazed with encrusted eyes down onto the battlefield below. Carefully observing the pulsating waves of Grandfather’s Plaguebearers, his eyes fixated on a particular demon, who’s dull chanting had grown momentarily silent. Almost as if feeling the eyes of the strict Scriviner upon him, the demon suddenly began to count loudly from one, his rusted blade piercing through the armor of his foe. With a sudden blast of lightning, the enemy warrior disappeared, leaving naught but a scorched mark on a field of bile and blood. Mump jotted down the demon’s name for later punishment, as to miscount the glorious diseases of their benevolent Grandfather was, in his mind, more egregious than falling to enemy blows. “You lot! Not worth your pustules, are you? Sweep left and start over!” Mump’s voice echoed over the din of battle, and within seconds, the puke-green horde shifted, forcing their stalwart foes into a defensive position. Mump grumbled to himself, making a quick note of the ineffectiveness of Ghurish Rabirot against Sigmar’s chosen. He squinted furiously at a pair of Nurglings dancing at his feet, happily swinging a bit of entrail between them. Giving one of them a sharp kick, he sent it tumbling into the chaos below. Mump despised their childish antics almost as much as he despised the diseased troops under his command. Stepping a few feet away from his vantage point, he watched as the ground near him began to write and split like an infested wound. Cautiously, like a spider emerging from an eye socket, the first roots of a Gnarlmaw began to creep outwards. “Oh good,” Mump complained to no one, “More things to count.” With a sudden blast of wind and storm, a group of Plaguebearers were sent flying through the air, spraying friend and foe alike with their blessed bile and blood. Mump made careful note of the demons that did not survive the attack, all but ignoring the thunderous wizard that had caused it. Failing in battle was still failing, after all, and it was his duty to record all of it. Glancing down, the roots of the fetid tree had begun to twist upwards, forming the husk of a trunk. Several Nurglings now danced around the pustulant plant, grabbing at it’s rusted bells. Mump briefly considered kicking the lot of them off of his hill, but decided the effort would be slightly more unbearable than simply ignoring them. Besides, he had much more important things to worry about, as the final column of armored warriors seemed to crumple in front of him. Even as their armor rotted and rusted with a dozen plagues, their bodies turned to lightning. “Fools!” Mump bellowed, though none were sure which side of the conflict he was speaking to. “Ignorance of the gifts of Grandfather is no [...]
Whelp, time to dig into some 40k goodness. I mentioned it in the podcast, but man, do I love mecha. All throughout my life my favorite shows, movies, and games have had some sort of mecha and/or awesome robots. My first two loves were Gundam and Mechwarrior. Something about watching two massive robots duke it out, has always gotten the blood pumping. So this trek into 40k was a perfect opportunity to throw two of my loves together. Unlike my two friends, I have NEVER played 40k. I have no idea what I am getting into. I have listened to 40k lore videos on youtube and whatnot in the past, but now I have a reason to actually dive into the extremely rich lore and gameplay of the setting. So far I've bought the basics. The Tau codex, datacards, 9th edition core rules, and a Start collecting box. Also decided to treat myself and bought a broadside because, well, have you seen that sweet heavy rail rifle? It looks sick. All my models are built; 10 fire warriors, an ethereal, 4 shield drones, 4 marker drones, 3 crisis suits (Went twin burst cannons with a missile pod mostly because of the rule of cool and I have no idea what is best), and the broadside with the heavy rail rifle and missile pods. I'm sure they aren't the best loadouts and many people are gonna scream that I didn't magnetize. But, honestly, I don't even know how this game is going to work yet. No need to try and net-list anything yet. Next step is to figure out a color scheme (thinking about white and purple) and get to painting so we can get to the table and start figuring this game out. Next week: Maybe a test model? Maybe a rant about how small these fire warriors are compared to the larger models I'm used to? An existential crisis that I should have put THREE burst cannons on my crisis suits for more dakka? Who knows! Find out next time on the next episode of "I just wanna put my Gunpla on the table."